I miss my father today, I miss him so much I can think of nothing but him, when I close my eyes all I see his face, in the quiet all I hear is his voice, in the darkness I feel his warm touch on my shoulder and his strong voice telling me he's watching me.

He wants me to find happiness, to move on and to trust someone other than him, to believe there is love out there for me....but how can I?

There is only one man I have found who comes close to my father. I don't think he knows I exsist, I know he has no clue how safe I feel around him and how much I yern to tell him how much he means to me.

Nobody seems to trust me much, I am harmless, I am more frightened of my powers than they could ever be.

I just want to feel safe.

I am troubled by my dreams lately. Sleep has always been something I have looked forward to, it is the time for my mind to rest and be free from other people's thoughts, but mostly it is a time for my mother to visit me. She teaches me how to use my magic, every natural witch is born with powers but not the knowledge of how to use them, my mother died when I was an infant and ever since then she has come to me in my sleep....

But she no longer does, I have lost her.
Instead my mind is filled with dreams that confuse and frighten me. As we travel these waters my thoughts feel less and less like my own, I am haunted by the emotions of those around me, feelings of greed and jealousy fill my veins one night, the next I am filled with strong feelings misery and saddness, the next I am innocent like a child, the next I am yearning for the love of a lost one, or filled with rage and revenge.

I hear voices, dark, violent voices, they speak of my powers, but I can not remember their words when I awake.
I feel I am forgetting more and more, less from my past is clear to me.
I am not sleeping well at the moment, my mind is tired....